For the Love of a Child
by Devi
Summary: Heero and Duo have been together for a while now, but turns out Duo has a child Heero doesn't know about. What will happen when he finds out? Yaoi and OOC! ~~Chapter 5 now posted!~~
1. Default Chapter

For the Love of a Child

For the Love of a Child

by Star Kindler

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own GW, never have and never will

Warnings: Yaoi, sap, and OOC

Enjoy and _please_ review! 

***

"Duo? Where are you going?" I looked up from my computer as I saw Duo head for the front door.

"Just out, Heero." Came his reply. I sighed and stood up. Wearily, I stretched my stiff muscles. I had been sitting at that computer for hours. That was probably my problem. Duo had been leaving almost everyday at the same time in the afternoon. He refused to tell me where when I asked. I wasn't quite sure what to think. I, after all, had not been paying much attention to him lately. 

"Duo, please tell me where you're going." I now stood in front of him, and tried to remain calm.

He looked at me, perhaps a little fearfully, but I could see no intention of an answer in his eyes.

I reached out and grabbed his arm, maybe a little too tightly. He winced in pain as I pulled him toward me. I know I shouldn't of, but sometimes my temper got the best of me.

"I find it strange you will not answer me. Where the hell have you been going?" I could feel my rage rising.

"Heero, please let go." He tried pulling away, but I would not let go. Finally he looked me in the eyes and said,

"I can't tell you…yet. Please, I've got to leave now!" He gave one final tug and his arm was free from my grasp. I made no attempt to take hold of him again. My love turned away from me and ran out the door. I was left alone in the corridor, unsure of what to do next. I couldn't understand why he would just leave like that. I had the impression our relationship was very open. Crestfallen, I treaded back to my computer, with confusion tugging at my heart.

***

I didn't want to leave Heero like that. The look I saw in his beautiful cobalt eyes ripped my heart in two. I hated not telling him what I was doing. Hell, I didn't even know what I was doing. But, if he knew, I thought for sure he would leave me. But as I turned into the hospital parking lot, I realized he was going to find out anyway. He would know as soon as I brought the little girl in the house and claimed her as my daughter. No, I would have to tell him before she came to live with us. My only prayer was that he would understand and not leave.

A wave a fear came over me. Today was the day that I would see my daughter for the first time since her birth five years ago. Her mother was just a woman I met shortly after the five of us gundam pilots split up. I thought I loved her, but I was wrong. We broke up before I even found out she was pregnant. I was there when my daughter, whom she named Ayanna, was born. She was beautiful, but her mother, Kalista, didn't want me to have anything to do with her and the baby. I don't know why I consented, but I did. A year later, I met up with Heero once more, and needless to say, we fell in love. I love him to this very day, and have no doubt in my mind that we are meant to be together. But recently, I received a letter from Kalista stating that she had a terminal cancer and didn't have long to live. She wanted me to take custody of Ayanna. The social workers had already seen that I was fit to parent her, so today I was going to sign some final papers granting me full custody of my daughter. 

I found a parking spot and parked my car. Trembling I got out and headed to the hospital doors. I stepped into the big, quiet building. I could almost hear my heart pound in my chest as I reached an elevator and pushed the button with an 'up' arrow printed on it. Nervously, I paced around as I waited for the elevator. I cursed under my breath as the elevator descended slowly to level one. Patience is not one of my virtues.

Finally, the doors slid opened and I gratefully stepped in. I pushed the button marked '3' and leaned against the back wall. As the elevator ascended, so did my fear and anxiety. Once it reached its destination, I got off and walked quickly down the hall to the room where Kalista and Ayanna were waiting. I stood behind the door, unsure whether I should open it or not. I was terrified; I had no idea what I was getting into. I could have left. There was no reason I had to go in that room, until that is, the door opened a nurse stepped out. I was spotted by Kalista, who smiled and motioned for me to come in. Returning the smile, I entered the room and saw a small girl seated close to the hospital bed. She was absolutely beautiful. She had gorgeous, long, chestnut hair and deep blue, saucer-shaped eyes. She glanced at me with a thoughtful look gracing her face. Ayanna stood up from her seat next to her mother's bed and walked over to me. She stood before me and looked up at me through the most intense eyes I have ever seen. 

"Daddy?" My heart melted. I nodded, stooped over and hugged her tightly. I felt her arms wrap around my neck and hold on tightly as if she didn't want to let go. I certainly didn't want to. Nothing had ever gave me such a peaceful feeling before. I realized how much I loved that little girl, despite the fact that I did not know her. I had felt the connections of love toward her before, but never acted on them. I never once tried to contact her. I was so afraid she would reject me, but here she was, with her little arms clinging to my neck. But eventually, after a glorious lifetime, I let go and she did too. I stood again, and Ayanna grasped my hand. I was shocked at the girl's reaction toward me, considering she didn't know me; but I wasn't going to argue. Kalista looked exceptionally happy. A grin crossed her pale face.

"The two of you will get a long just fine." She said wearily. I couldn't help but beam with happiness. I have wanted this since Ayanna was born.

Then, the door opened behind me, and a social worker, the same one that had reviewed me, entered. She nodded a hello and stopped to shake my hand. Next, she pulled out a paper and pen and set them on a table against the wall. 

"Mr. Maxwell, please sign this paper." She said, and I consented. 

"So how long until Ayanna gets to come home with me?" I asked as I signed my name.

"It will take 3-7 days. We'll give you a call."

"Thank you…" I heard Kalista mutter behind me. The social worker walked over to her bedside and took hold of her hand. She whispered something to Ayanna's mother, then said goodbye to the three of us. She left as quickly as she came in. 

I turned to Kalista. "Um, we need to talk."

"Wait…" she replied and pushed the nurse call button on some sort of remote.

After a moment, a nurse entered and asked if there was anything she needed.

Kalista nodded. "Could you please take Ayanna to the hospital daycare?"

"Of course." I looked over at Ayanna as the nurse took hold of hand. As she was led out of the room. She looked back at me intently, then was gone.

"Wonderful child, isn't she?" Kalista asked with a weary tone. 

"She's perfect." I responded. I crossed the room and sat in the chair next to her bed and took a good look at for the first time since I entered the room. She appeared so weak. Her face was pure white, and her skin was drawn tightly over her cheekbones. I knew she didn't have much longer.

"Duo, are you afraid to take her?" 

I looked at her in shock. "No! Of course I'm not. I can't wait for the moment till I'll finally be able to raise her – like I was meant to." I know my voice sounded a bit angry, but I couldn't help it. It hurt to miss so much of her life.

"Duo, don't be angry. Please, I know I was wrong. I should have let you see her." She turned away, and I could sense she was crying. In an attempt to comfort her, I took a frail hand and held it gently in mine. 

"I'm not angry. It's just I feel as if I've done wrong for not trying to contact her or nothing..." I replied as kindly as possible.

She looked back at me. "It wasn't your fault. I'm so sorry – I hope you can forgive me."

I nodded and she smiled. "So what does your new lover think about you having a daughter, anyway?" she asked, changing the subject. 

I glanced around nervously. "Um…uh…he's perfectly okay with it." Damn, I hated all these lies, but I couldn't tell her Heero didn't know yet.

"I hope he is a good…" she stopped due to a coughing attack. After a moment, the coughs subsided, and she continued. "…A good role model for Ayanna."

"She's going to love him." _'I hope…'_ She nodded and seemed satisfied with my answer.

Suddenly, a doctor came into the room. "How are you feeling, Kalista?"

"I'm fine, doctor." She said, but her voice wasn't very convincing. 

The doctor looked over at me. "Visiting hours are up…Wait, are you the little girl's father?" 

I shook my head yes and he said, "I need to talk to you outside then."

"Alright." I turned to Kalista and gave her hand a squeeze. "I'll see you later."

"Goodbye Duo." She replied and turned away from me. I sighed and followed the doctor out the door.

Once out of the room he said, "Kalista will be gone in a few days. The cancer has completely taken over her body."

I nodded, unsure of what to feel. I was sorry, of course, but it didn't actually cause me any pain. 

"Well, I just wanted to let you know…" The doctor muttered a goodbye and hurried off. Calmly, I walked away in the opposite direction. A mixture of feelings filled my heart. I was happy because I was finally gaining a daughter, but my daughter was losing her mother. Then there was that problem with Heero. It worried me, but as I made my way down the elevator, and out the hospital doors, I thought I would lay the news on him tonight, perhaps over dinner. 

***

I gazed out the window. Still no sign of Duo. It was bothering the hell out of me. He had been acting so strange the past few weeks. I sighed and plopped down on a couch. I picked up my bottle of beer sitting on the table next to me. I took a long gulp from it. It certainly calmed me down. Honestly, I've been on the brink of hysteria since Duo kept disappearing. Thoughts of anger and hurt floated throughout my mind, preventing any positive thoughts from breaking through. 

But in the midst of my thinking, I heard a car pull up to the driveway. With an anxious jolt running through my body, I raced to the front door and threw it open just as _my_ Duo was getting out of his car. He noticed me and as he approached the front steps, he smiled. I bolted down the steps and hugged him. I don't know why, I should have been angry, but the anger had melted away. Now I just wanted to hold him and not let go. He didn't seem too surprised by the action. 

After a moment he pulled away. "Heero, I want to tell you where I've been going."

I looked at him in shock. "What? Where?" 

"Not yet. What I have to tell you is too important just to blurt out. Let's discuss it over dinner. We can go to a restaurant."

I nodded, obviously it was the best I would get out of him right now.

"Okay, I'll drive." He responded and pulled me to the car. As I climbed in, I had to ask,

"Duo, is this going to be bad or good?" To tell the truth, I was incredibly nervous.

He leaned over to the passenger seat and kissed my cheek. "It depends on how you want to take it, lover." And he started the car and we drove off.

~~End of Chapter One~~

***

So what did ya think? I really want to know! Please review! ~Star Kindler


	2. 

For the Love of a Child

For the Love of a Child

by Star Kindler

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own GW, never have and never will

Warnings: Yaoi, OOC, and lots of sap. 

Enjoy and review! 

***

The ride to the restaurant was fairly quiet. I believe I was worrying Heero. I could tell by the way he continually shifted in his seat, as if he were anxious or something. Once we did reach the restaurant, he practically bounded out of the car, and waited impatiently by the entrance as I climbed out and made my way to him. This was certainly not his usual personality. I imagine I would do the same if I were in his shoes.

Lucky for me, the restaurant was not very crowded. People were spread about in a few tables, but for the most part, it was fairly empty. Thankfully, the waiter seated us in a corner booth, secluded from the few other people. He took our drink and food orders, and finally we were alone. By this time, I had a nervous feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't sure I could tell Heero this – now. 

"Well?" I heard Heero's voice, looked across at him and smirked. 

"Well what?" 

"Are you going to tell me or not?" He asked impatiently.

__

'Oh god, I must think of something quick…' "Um…Heero. What I want to tell you is…I…you see…I have a…" For once, I actually couldn't speak.

"You have, what?" He glared at me. I could tell the suspense was killing him, but I could not think of a right way to word this.

"I have…I have to go to the restroom. Please excuse me." I heard him sigh with exasperation, while I hurried off to the front of the restaurant and into the restroom. There, I stood in front of the mirror.

"Okay, Duo, get a hold of yourself." I whispered. "He'll understand. Now, you've got to tell him. You can't wait till Ayanna shows up on your doorstep." I turned on the faucet and splashed cool water on my face. Then, with a deep breath, and a look of pure bravery, I sauntered out of the bathroom and back to Heero. By this time, the food had arrived, and Heero was taking small bites, staring in my direction. 

With a flushed look on my face, I sat down and began nibbling at the food before me, still petrified. Heero put his fork down.

"Duo, now, please tell me. You said you would." I could hear a bit of desperation in his voice. I sighed deeply.

"Heero, this isn't just something I can come out and say, I mean-" I looked down, for I could feel the burning of tears collecting in my eyes. This was harder than I thought. 

"Duo, look at me." I guided my eyes to Heero's face. Satisfied, he said, "Duo, I love you. You can tell me anything. I will not love you any less. Nothing you tell me will make me turn on you, I swear." 

In those beautiful eyes, I saw nothing but sincerity. He reached across the table, took hold of my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I couldn't help but smile, and as I did, I opened my mouth and began to tell him the whole story.

"Heero, I'm happy about what is going to enter our lives, and I have every reason to be. But I'm just worried about you."

Heero shook his head. "Don't be. Please continue."

I nodded. "Okay, here goes." I took a deep breath. "Five years ago, I got with a woman, whom I thought I loved. Turned out our relationship didn't work out and we broke up. Unfortunately, she was um…pregnant." I saw Heero's eyes widen, but he didn't let go of my hand, so I continued.

"She didn't want me to have anything to with my…this sounds weird…she didn't want me to have anything to do with my daughter, Ayanna." I gazed in Heero's eyes to see if I can read his expression, but it was totally blank. I had to know what he was feeling.

"Heero? What are you thinking?" 

He glared at me with a funny look on his face. But finally he said, "I don't know…Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I squirmed in my seat nervously. "That's not all I have to tell you." I had never seen a more confused look on anyone's face before, but I continued nevertheless. "I got a letter from her mother, Kalista. Kalista has cancer and is dying. She wants me to take Ayanna. Of course, I consented. Heero, I want my daughter in my life. I hope you understand."

He nodded. "Yes Duo, I do understand. So what does this mean for the two of us?"

I smiled and placed my other hand on his. "It means we have a family."

"You want me to help you take care of her? But I don't know the first thing about child care!"

"And I do? Come on Heero, I don't want to do this without you."

***

A child? Duo had a child? I couldn't believe it. What's more, I couldn't believe he hadn't told me about her, sooner.

After a few moments of mindless staring, I finally had enough intelligence to speak up. "I've never really been around a child before…"

He smiled. "It's okay Heero. I haven't either. But I want _us_ to raise her, and I know we can get through this together."

"What if she doesn't like me?" I worried.

"She'll love you. In fact, tomorrow the three of us are going to spend the day together. How do you like that?" 

This was too much for me to take in all at once. "Where are we going to go?"

"I found out something special was going to be in town tomorrow." He winked.

"What?"

"Trowa's circus!" He practically beamed. 

"The circus? We're going to take her to the circus?" I questioned. 

"Sure, why not? Her mother mentioned she _loved_ animals, so maybe we can get Trowa to let us go back and see the lions and elephants up close. She'll have a blast!"

I sighed, not quite sure what I should be feeling right now; not sure what I should say. But I had to agree. I truly loved Duo, but this was almost like a shot to the heart, and I don't know why. 

"I'm not going to leave you Duo. I love you." I said, my heart overflowing.

"Oh Heero, I love you to. She's a wonderful kid and you'll be a great stepfather!" He said happily.

His words shocked me. Stepfather? At that moment I felt a warm, ardent feeling come about me. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

~~End of Chapter Two~~

***

Comments? Criticism? Please let me know what you think! ~Star Kindler


	3. Chapter Three

For the Love of a Child

For the Love of a Child

by Star Kindler

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own GW, never have and never will

Author's Note: Sorry it's taking so long to get this fic finished. Damn, has it really been nearly two months since my last update? I can't believe it. *sigh* I've had the _worst_ case of writer's block for the past few months that refuses to go away…

Warnings: Yaoi, angst (?) and OOC 

***

I glanced at the cloudy shower door and sighed as ran a brush through my hair. I could see Heero's blurry form standing still underneath the spray of water. He had been in there for the past half-hour; I don't understand why. After I finished telling him the news this evening, he actually seemed…dare I say it? He seemed happy – well, almost anyway. Now, I don't know what he was thinking or feeling. He had closed himself up in that shower for too long, now. I had to find out what he was doing.

"Heero? Are you almost finished?" I called out over the roar of the water.

No reply.

"Aw, Hee-chan, you're going to get waterlogged…" 

Silence.

I set my brush aside, and approached the shower door. Casually, I knocked on it.

"You've been showering for a long time. Don't make me come in there after you, koi." This time I expected a smart comeback. Well, I didn't get what I expected, but surprisingly, he did respond.

"Hn." 

It wasn't much of a reply, but it was enough for me to take a hint. So he wants to be left alone. I can handle that. 

"All right Heero, stay in there the whole night for all I care. I'm going to bed." This time I heard nothing from him, so I turned and walked back to the bedroom. Crawling into bed, I stared at the bathroom entranceway, waiting patiently for Heero to emerge – he had to sooner or later. And I wasn't going to even attempt to fall asleep until I made sure he was all right. The thing with Ayanna was big – I wonder if I hurt his feelings by not telling him about her sooner? Now this was going to be bothering the hell out of me until I could talk to him.

Finally, after an eternity, I heard the water from the shower shut off. After a few more moments, Heero emerged clad in pajama pants. I eyed him as he walked across the room and sunk down on the bed. 

"What took so long Heero?" I asked curiously. 

He shrugged and laid down. I stared at him, shocked. Okay, so maybe I was more hurt. The least I deserved was an answer. I knew one thing; I wasn't going to go to sleep until he told me what he was thinking. I leaned over him, and waited for a reaction.

"Is there something you want, Duo?" He looked up at me emotionlessly. 

"What – no goodnight kiss?" I smirked.

Much to my surprise he smiled back, pulled my head down, and pressed his lips against mine. Submitting to the kiss, I let him overpower me and pin me against the bed. His powerful arms felt so good around my body.

As the kiss ended, I felt a twinge of relief. "You aren't upset, Heero?" I asked, practically out of breath.

"About your daughter? I told you earlier, I wasn't." He paused for a moment, and it looked as if he were deep in thought. "Duo, I was thinking…maybe I shouldn't go with you tomorrow." 

My mouth dropped open. I pushed him away and sat up on my elbows. "What the _hell _do you mean? You have to go – you have no choice. You have to get to know her sooner or later; why wait?"

He turned away from me. "I don't know anything about kids. I'll just be in the way; she's going to hate me."

Sympathy tugged at my heart. "Heero, she won't hate you. Give her a chance, you'll see."  
He sat up, his eyes still downcast. "I don't think I want to go through with this."

That comment scared me. "What does that mean?" I asked fearfully.

"This is going to change everything – nothing will be the same."

He was making no sense whatsoever. "Heero…Oh god, you don't want me to choose between you and her, do you?

"No, I don't want you to do that." He turned back to me, his eyes full of confusion. "I don't even know what I'm saying. I've never felt these emotions before."

I smiled, hoping to offer some sort of comfort. "I understand, love. This is new to me, also, but I can't back down. And I said it earlier; I don't want to go through this without you. Please don't leave me…"

"I love you, Duo. I'm not going to leave." He sighed. "Alright, I'll go; but only for you. I have no idea what to expect." He ran his hand through his hair.

I laughed. "To tell you the truth, I don't either. But don't worry about it, Heero – I promise, everything will be okay." 

He smiled slightly and nodded. Both assuming we had solved the problem, we kissed and laid down. But as I closed my eyes, I couldn't help but think about the confusion in his eyes. Never before had I seen him so unsure and confounded. That just didn't fit his personality. In the past, he had self-destructed, conquered the Zero system and faced off against hordes of mobile dolls without blinking an eye. Now he was going to come face to face with a little girl he may have to help take care of, and he seemed almost terrified. But the one thing I know about Heero is that in his mind, nothing is impossible, and nothing is insurmountable. I can take comfort in the fact that he will get through this. Then why am I so worried?

***

I watched nervously from the driver's seat as Duo brought the small girl out to the car. She smiled enthusiastically as Duo held her tightly in his arms. I couldn't help but think as I saw her that first time that she looked a lot like Duo; her smile, her heart shaped face, those beautiful eyes, and her chestnut colored hair. The resemblance was amazing; I suppose that makes sense, however.

Duo opened the backdoor of the car and sat her in the backseat. He looked over at me and smiled. 

"That's Heero, Ayanna." He told her, pointing at me.

"Hi…Ayanna." I muttered softly. 

She looked at me; her smile now faded, and said nothing. 

"Say hello to Heero." He urged her.

"Hi." She mumbled. 

I nodded and turned to look out the front windshield. Duo climbed in the front passenger seat and turned to me.

"Great, isn't she?" He asked in a whisper.

I nodded, trying to think of an appropriate answer. "Yeah Duo, she's…great." I replied half-heartily.

The trip to the circus was uneventful. I tried to concentrate on the road while Duo chatted incessantly to the small child. She answered him happily and eagerly.

I don't really understand the feelings I that were tugging on my heart at that moment. Something about Duo's voice just did made me feel indescribable. I decided to glance over at him; I just had to see the look that graced his face. But as I looked over I could see nothing but the side of him as he leaned over the seat, talking enthusiastically.

"Duo, sit down and hook in! The car is moving." I told him, getting slightly annoyed. Typically, I wouldn't give those actions a second thought, but for some reason, it made me even more nervous than I already was. From the corner of my eye, I could see him turn around and give me a funny look.

"What's the matter, Heero?" I could hear the bit of confusion in his voice.

Not knowing what to say, I didn't reply, and kept my eyes on the road ahead of me. The car became silent – too silent. I wondered if my voice had been too harsh. 

All remained quiet until the tip of the circus tent appeared and Ayanna noticed it immediately.

"That's it! That's it, isn't it?" She yelled happily.

"Yeah!" Duo replied with the same eagerness. "Hurry up, Heero!" He said quickly.

Sighing, I turned into the parking area, which was now already brimming over with children and adults alike. After a while, I found a parking spot, and Duo bounded gleefully out of the car, pausing only to help Ayanna out. The two practically ran to the gate while I followed far behind. Once they reached the entranceway of the circus area, Duo turned and waited impatiently for me; all the while, the small girl tugged at his hand urging him to go on.

"C'mon Heero! Walk faster." he called out. I walked faster until I caught up with them. As we entered the gates, I felt anger build up inside me – I don't know why. I didn't like what was happening. I loved Duo, but that didn't make up for the feelings of regret seemed to overtake my body.

~~End of Chapter Three~~

***

Wow, I've finished chapter three. I promise chapter four will be up soon. Anyway, comments are appreciated! ~Star Kindler


	4. Chapter Four

For the Love of a Child

For the Love of a Child

by Star Kindler

Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own GW, but if I did…

Author's Note: Told ya I'd get the next chapter out soon! I wonder if this means my bad case of writer's block has been cured…

Warnings: Yaoi, angst, and OOC

***

"Look Daddy! There's some tigers!" Ayanna squealed as she pulled me over to a line of brightly painted cages on wheels. She gasped as we stood before the large animals. "They're so big!" 

I laughed and glanced over my shoulder at Heero. He didn't seem the least bit interested. In fact, he almost seemed irritated. Oh well, let him be aggravated. I wasn't about to let him spoil our day with his negative attitude. 

"Heero! Duo!" We turned around only to see Quatre walking in our direction. 

"Quatre! It's been a long time. What are you doing here?" I asked.

He smiled. "Same as you. Just came to see Trowa's show." 

At that moment, he looked down at Ayanna, and back at me. I could see the questioning look in his eyes. I couldn't wait to see his face when I told him who she was. "Oh, you haven't met my daughter, have you?" I asked with a smile.

Quatre looked as if he were about to fall over. "Your what!?" He looked over at Heero. "Is he serious?"

Heero remained apathetic and crossed his arms. "Yeah, he's serious." 

Quatre's gaze shot back to me. "It's a long story…" I answered his silent question. He nodded and turned his attention to Ayanna

He leaned down almost to her eye-level. "Hi. My name is Quatre. What's yours?" He asked with a smile.

"Hi! I'm Ayanna." She grinned. 

"Nice to meet you, Ayanna. Are you ready to see the circus?" He asked.

"Yeah!" She practically beamed.

He straightened up and faced Heero and I. "Well, shall we go, then?" Heero just scoffed, but I nodded. I wish he would just loosen up once in awhile. As we made our way to the entrance, Ayanna's reaction to Quatre bothered me. When she met Heero, she seemed indifferent, but seemed very enthused when she spoke to Quatre. Well, Heero wasn't one of those people you could just immediately open up to; I suppose she would get used to him in time. 

***

We bought our tickets and made our way to the stands. We took our seats and waited for the show to begin. I could still feel the anger rising. Duo's daughter certainly seemed to like Quatre. She didn't even smile when Duo _told_ her to say 'hello' to me. I can't say I was jealous, but something was eating at me; I have no idea what. Duo and Quatre talked a little, but for the most part, we remained quiet. That is, until a man with a holder full of cotton candy walked by and Duo jumped up. "Oh. Ayanna, do you want some cotton candy?" He asked excitedly. 

"Uh-huh! Please!" She exclaimed.

He smiled. "Okay, I'll go get it, and you stay here with Heero and Quatre." Duo left, leaving me next to the little girl. She looked up at me and just stared. Her gaze was making me rather uncomfortable.

"What?" I finally asked.

"Why don't you talk?" I heard Quatre stifle a giggle. I suppose it was an innocent question – but one I did not have an answer to. Thankfully, at that moment, Duo returned with a package of cotton candy and handed it to Ayanna. She tore the plastic covering off quickly and stuffed a handful of the stuff in her mouth. 

"Want some, Daddy?" She offered. He smiled and ripped some of the air light candy off. 

The show began soon after that. I zoned out most of the time. Something about elephants balancing on their hind legs and lion tamers cracking their whips at roaring lions didn't interest me. Duo and Ayanna, on the other hand, were enjoying the show thoroughly; they were cheered and clapped loudly. 

It wasn't long before Trowa's act began. He positioned himself in front of the large white board while Catherine stood several yards away, knives in hand. 

I heard Ayanna gasp and I looked over at the two next to me. She was clinging to Duo's arm. "Is she going to throw those at him?" She asked fearfully.

"Shh…just watch." He whispered close to ear. Sighing, I glanced over at Quatre. His eyes were glued to Trowa, and he seemed to be holding his breath.

Catherine launched the first dagger. Then the next, over and over again, until she reached the final one. The last knife struck the board next to Trowa's ear. The entire audience remained struck with awe then suddenly broke out into a clamorous applause. Duo whistled and cheered quite possible louder than anyone else in the crowd. His daughter clapped just as loudly. Honestly, I don't know what the excitement was about; I wasn't the least bit impressed. 

The rest of the show flashed by me. I didn't want to be there, and just wished it would end. After an eternity, it finally did.

"Hey Quatre." Duo piped up. "Do you think Trowa would mind if we went backstage? I think Ayanna would like to see some of the animals up close."

Quatre shrugged. "I don't see a problem. Sure, follow me." He led us to the back; I have no idea why I following them. Hell, I didn't know what I was even doing there. I told Duo I didn't want to do this; I knew it would turn out badly, and I knew the kid would hate me. 

Finally, we found Trowa. He had changed out of costume, and was standing by some lion cages. 

"Trowa." Quatre tapped him on the shoulder; he turned around and smiled. The two pulled in close for a hug.

"Ahem." Duo cleared his throat, trying to gain their attention. Trowa looked up.

"What are you guys doing here?" He asked, surprised.

Quatre chimed in. "Just to see your performance, of course." he paused. "Oh, and to show off Duo's daughter." He ended with a sly smile. 

Trowa's gaze dropped to the little girl clutching my lover's hand. "Duo's…what?"

"Daughter. This is my daughter, Ayanna." Duo replied. The little girl smiled.

Trowa seemed absolutely perplexed. "Duo, I know it's been a long time since we last saw each other…but since when did you have a child?"

Duo sighed and patted him on the shoulder. "It's a _very_ long story, which we will go into later. Right now, Ayanna would like to see the lions. Would that be okay?" 

"Uh…yeah, go ahead, but don't get too close. They haven't been fed yet." He replied and the Duo pulled Ayanna over to the cages. 

"Heero…" Trowa whispered. "Can you tell me what's going on?" 

"Yeah, I'd like to know, also." Quatre stepped up next to me.

I sighed. It shouldn't have been me telling them this. "Duo has a daughter, which I didn't even know about. He told me yesterday. Apparently, the kid is going to be living with us." I replied, not wanting to go into too many details.

"Oh." They said in unison, though, both still seemed as confused as ever. I couldn't blame them; I was too. I still wasn't too sure what was happening. All I knew is that I wanted to get home.

"Duo, come on, let's go." I said sternly. 

He turned around. "What? Why?"

"Because it's getting late, and you've got to get her home." I replied, not in any mood to hear his whining. 

Ayanna cast her gaze up at him. He must have taken pity. "Aw, Heero…"

"Now, Duo." Why did I have to order him like that?

He sighed, defeated. "You're no fun…" He muttered as he passed me. We said our good-byes to Trowa and Quatre and left. I didn't care what Duo and Ayanna thought about me at that moment. I didn't like the emotions that were overtaking my body, and I felt I had to get out of there.

***

I don't understand why Heero wanted to leave so quickly. We didn't even get a chance to talk to Trowa and Quatre; I haven't had the opportunity to in so long. But now we on our way home. We had already taken Ayanna back to the house she was staying at. The guardians gave me some news on Kalista. They informed me she was slowly slipping away. I'm not sure how I should take that.

Then there was the way Heero had acted the whole evening. He didn't even try to get close to Ayanna; and I don't know what she thought about him. I guess I can only pray that they get closer when I gain full custody of her. I would like Heero to adopt her also. I wonder if he'll agree to do so?

We finally got home, and Heero stormed through the door. He seemed extremely irritated – more so than usual. He stopped next to a hall table and laid the car keys down. I wrapped my arms around his waist and planted a kiss on his neck. "What's the matter, love?"

He pulled out of my grip and pushed me away. I could see a mixture of anger and hurt in his cobalt eyes. "Everything!" He bellowed. "I can't believe you're doing this to me."

I was taken back. "What do you mean? What have I done?" 

"Out of no where, you tell me you have a kid – and then you expect me to accept her. You obviously don't love me."

I couldn't believe he was saying this. I felt tears sting my eyes. "No Heero, that's not true. I love you more than life! I didn't even know this was going to happen-"

"Bullshit! You could have at least told me about her when we got together. That shows what you think about me." He picked the car keys up once more and lowered his voice. "I thought we had an open relationship…"

He headed to the door, and I grabbed his shoulder. "Where are you going?" I choked back a sob.

"Out. I need to think." He pulled away from my grip and walked out the door. I was left alone. After a few moments, tears fell from my eyes. I know I shouldn't have cried, but I couldn't help it. Could Heero be so angry that he would just leave me? Not knowing what to do, I wandered into the living room and threw myself on the couch. I couldn't bare the thought of losing Heero; he had never gotten so angry with me before. And I had never seen such a hurt look in his eyes – had my secret destroyed our relationship?

~~End of Chapter Four~~

***

*gasp* I finished chapter four in less than 24 hours! Anyway, please let me know what you think! ~Star Kindler


	5. Chapter Five

For the Love of a Child

For the Love of a Child

by Star Kindler

Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I don't own GW, never have and never will…

Author's Note: *ugh* Writer's block is really frustrating… Anyway, sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out. I just have not been motivated to write anything.

Warnings: Yaoi, slight angst

***

1:43 a.m.

That's what the clock on my car radio said. I had been driving for hours, not anywhere in particular of course, just around the city. I was so upset with Duo; I just did not feel like facing him right now. Honestly, I believed I had every right in the world to be upset, I mean who wouldn't be? As much as I loved Duo, I couldn't honestly say I loved him enough to accept this kid. He had betrayed me; damn it, the least he could have done was tell me he had a daughter. I don't know if our relationship would have gotten as far as it has if I would have known, but at least he would have been honest with me. Humph. Now he expects me to help him. I don't have to; it's not my kid.

The roads were empty; I suppose at this uncivilized hour, that made sense. I was getting so tired, I knew if I continued I would probably fall asleep at the wheel. I also needed to go to work in the morning, but I didn't want to go back and face Duo…not at all. He had hurt me too damn much. I couldn't believe it; there were actually tears forming in my eyes. Why was I so hurt? Was it the fact that Duo failed to mention Ayanna's existence to me? Or was it because our relationship was shattering because of it? That's it, my emotions were getting the best of me; I had to stop somewhere. Off to the side of the road, I saw a glowing neon sign stand in front of a large two-story building lined with rooms. The words 'Motel' and 'Vacancy' blinked on and off in a bright yellow. Sighing, I decided to stay there for the night. Turning into the almost empty parking lot, I thought of what Duo's reactions would be when he found that I was not home in the morning. I knew he would be hurt, but I was angry and just didn't care. But if that was the truth, then why could I feel a single tear trail down my cheek?

***

I woke up that next morning feeling rather groggy. For some reason I was lying on the couch, which was very unusual in itself. But as I sat up, the events of the previous evening flooded in my mind. Suddenly I could still hear the anger and hurt in Heero's voice as he walked out the door. 

Heero. 

It's morning; he had to have been home! I just had to talk to him. Standing up I ran back to our bedroom, but much to my dismay he was not there – our bed was in perfect condition. In a panic, I sprinted throughout the house glancing in each room. But he was so no where to be found. Finally, I glanced out the window just to see if his car was in the driveway. I felt a small sob escape my throat; his car was not there. Wandering back to my place on the couch, I slumped down and sighed. Apparently Heero had not come home last night. _'Oh god, has he really left me?' _was the only thing I could think. No, that couldn't be right…Heero would never do that, he loves me! He vowed he would love me forever and never leave my side. Why was he so angry about this whole thing with Ayanna? She was just a child; even _he_ should have taken to her instantly.

Technically, I didn't lie to him and I don't believe I betrayed him at all. I never expected him to find out about Ayanna; hell, I didn't expect to ever see her, so what was the problem? 

As a small tear escaped my eye, the phone rang causing me to jump; I guess I was lost in my thoughts. I gasped. It could have been Heero on the phone! Trying to steady my voice, I took a deep breath and picked up the receiver. 

"Hello?" I said, hoping with all my heart that it would be Heero's voice that responded. 

No such luck, for the voice that replied was a woman's and she sounded very panicked. 

"Duo? Duo, is that you?" The woman asked.

"Yeah. Who's-" I was cut short.

"Duo, terrible news! Kalista died an hour ago!" She said quickly; it sounded like she had been crying.

The words hit me hard. "Wh-what? She's d-dead?" _'What about Ayanna? How is this going to affect her?'_

"It wasn't supposed to happen yet…"

"I'm sorry. Looks like you may get Ayanna this afternoon."

"What!? How am I supposed to explain her mother's death to her?" I sighed. "I wasn't expecting this so soon…"

"I'm sorry, Duo." She whispered. I now realized this was the woman who was taking care of Ayanna for the time being.

I sighed. "Well, what's going to happen now?" 

"I'm waiting for a call from the social worker. As soon as I get her okay, I'm going to bring Ayanna over. Is that all right?" She inquired.

"I…uh…" No, actually it wasn't all right. I had no idea where Heero was and damn it, I was feeling more than a little depressed at the moment. But then I had to think about Ayanna. She had just lost her mother. Though I never knew my mother, I can imagine how painful this will be for her. 

"Yeah, that's fine. I am correct aren't I? She doesn't know Kalista is dead, does she?" I asked hesitantly.

I heard a loud groan. "No, that's your job to explain it to her. She's only five, so she won't totally understand right now." 

"Okay, then-" I began, but she cut me off.

"Oh, sorry Duo. There's a call on the other line; it may be the social worker! I'll phone you when I'm bringing Ayanna over."

Oh god, no. This was all happening way too fast. "No! Wait-!"

I head a click as the line went dead. With a sigh, I hung the receiver up and settled back in the couch. So many thoughts were racing through my mind; I was worried about my daughter – God knows what emotional agony this will cause her. And I was worried about my relationship with Heero. I was scared that we were through – I had totally screwed up and I just knew he wasn't coming back. What was I going to do? I couldn't handle Ayanna by myself…or maybe I just didn't want to. I wanted to share my daughter with Heero. There's a strong bond between parents, and I wanted to feel that bond with the love of my life. Was that so wrong?

At that moment, I was torn. My first priority had to be my daughter, and my second had to be Heero. Maybe Heero was jealous because my attention would be diverted from him to Ayanna. I didn't know what his true reasons for leaving were, but I sure as hell wished he would come back.

I leaned forward in the couch and placed my chin in my palms. Silently, I waited for that call that would be the beginning of my new life.

***

Comments? Criticism? I wanna know what you think! ~Star Kindler


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